As you know, I’m renovating a couple of houses here in Portugal. That was the whole idea of coming here: buy a couple of houses, renovate them and rent them out.
The fact that I don’t know the first thing about DIY didn’t deter me, although it probably should have done.
It hasn’t been easy.
Trying to find a builder was my main problem, but I’ve had others too.
The other day I mentioned the trials and tribulations of buying tiles. But that has been nothing compared with trying to sort out the doors… bloody hell, it’s been a nightmare!
It all started when I was buying doors for my Fuseta house – I decided upon ‘Paris Branca’ doors from Leroy Merlin: stylish and understated. I liked them.
I could have bought doorframes for them at the same time but took the decision not to. I could see that the doorframes were more expensive than the actual doors themselves, and my mate advised me that he’d been able to have his doorframes custom-made for less than half the price.
‘Fantastic!’ I thought.
So I bought the doors – but no doorframes. Mmmm…. I should have seen the problem coming.
In the end, I never actually got to use the doors in Fuseta. I decided to stick with the existing ones and save myself some money.
This meant that when I moved on to renovating the house in Olhao, I had a ready-made set. That would save me both time and money – or so I thought.
Vitor (my builder) liked the doors, and was quite happy to use them. It was only when we got closer to installing them that he started having reservations.
“Where the doorframes?”
“Do you know a carpenter?”
He looked doubtful.
“Yeeess… but….”
“Can you call him and get a price, please?”
To date, Vitor has been great at finding the tradesmen we needed, so I had total faith.
“OK. I try.”
The next day, I went back to the house.
“Any luck?”
“No, all too busy. We will need to buy kit from Leroy Merlin. We go look.”
“But it’s very expensive…”
“We go look…”
So we went and looked. Well, at least I did, initially anyway. I went, I looked, I explained to the sales staff what I wanted (although I wasn’t sure they were understanding), I called Vitor and he explained to the sales staff what I wanted, and I bought one doorframe kit. I must say, it didn’t look right… and it was a quarter of the price I was expecting, but who was I to argue? I know nothing about DIY.
I drove back to Olhao, took the kit out of the back of my van and proudly showed Vitor.
“What is this?!”
Eh?
“This not right! You need to take it back!”
And so I did… a painful experience, and I didn’t even get my money back, just a voucher… bollocks…
I investigated once more, I spoke to the salesman again, I tried to understand… I just had no idea what I needed to buy. I did see something that looked like it might do the job, but it was €200. I wasn’t going to buy that without making sure – I didn’t want another voucher!
I drove back to Olhao, shame-faced, without a doorframe.
I walked into the house. Vitor’s first question was:
“Where’s kit?”
I explained that I had no idea what I needed to buy.
“OK! We go again tomorrow!”
And so we did, the two of us in my van.
When we got there, Vitor found what we needed – and it was indeed €200 per kit. Bollocks to that! And I told him so!
“I’m not paying that, Vitor…”
“How about buying a door that comes with a doorframe?” he asked.
“What? Buy more doors? I already have doors!”
“Yes, but no doorframes…”
He’s not stupid, Vitor. Maybe I am…
“Look, these doors are €134 with doorframe.”
‘And there’s a reason for that’, I thought. They were brown and not very nice. My doors were white, understated and stylish.
“I really don’t want to buy those Vitor. We need to find a carpenter.”
He didn’t look happy, but he accepted this fact.
“OK, I’ll phone,” he said.
“And I’ll talk to my mate.”
I thought that I’d better do something to help with the search.
So I spoke to my mate. I asked him for a good place to sort doorframes. He mentioned a place on the Marim Industrial Estate. Fortunately, the next day we drove into Olhao together, and he pointed out the building.
“That’s the place! Three doorframes – €200!”
Brilliant! A good price and I had a starting point for Vitor.
When I saw Vitor later that day, I told him that we needed to go the Industrial Estate to order the doors.
He was keen as mustard!
“Come, we go!”
I think he saw the doorframes as a major sticking point on our renovation project’s critical path. I did too.
Vitor offered to drive. I’ve never been so scared in my life! Do all Moldovans drive like this?! Hitting 60 between roundabouts a couple of hundred metres apart isn’t my idea of fun any more! Anyway, we made it, alive…
I looked at the building that Jason had pointed out. Or did I? There were two close together… Mmmm…. Which one….? Serviplaca? I took a gamble.
“In here Vitor!”
He looked at it.
“Yes, my fiend works here. Ukrainian. Good Carpenter! I asked him before, but he was too busy.”
Things were looking up – we were in the right place at least.
We walked in (with masks on, of course) and in front of us, there were doors everywhere, display doors that is.
Yes! This must be the place I thought! Vitor’s friend, doors…
Vitor approached the counter and started talking to the woman. After a couple of minutes, she looked at him blankly and simply said: “Nao.”
What?
“Nao.”
Mmmm…. Maybe they’d stopped doing doorframes? Whatever, all I could think was bollocks…
Vitor turned to me and shook his head.
Shoulders sagging, we left
What now?
Back to Leroy Merlin to buy the doors I didn’t want? No chance!
“I’ll talk to my mate again, and see if he has any more thoughts.” I said.
And I did, and the next day went back to see Vitor.
“Sorry Vitor, we went to the wrong place. Not Serviplaca. We should have gone to Valente next door.”
Bollocks! So close and yet so far!
And so we went back to the Industrial Estate, parked virtually where we had the day before, and entered Valente.
It was a Friday.
We went in, Vitor talked, we agreed that I’d send an email with the relevant details, the lady behind the counter said that we would have a quote on Monday. Perfect!
At long last we were on our way!
I drove Vitor back to Olhao: I’d driven this time; I thought it would be safer.
When we got there, Vitor went to the fridge, pulled out a couple of beers and said:
“One beer for you! One for me!”
Were we celebrating? I hoped it wasn’t too early!
Anyway, Monday came and went, so I wandered into Valente on Tuesday, on my way back into Olhao. Perhaps she hadn’t got my email? I asked the question:
“Do you have the quote?”
“Not yet. Thursday.”
Thursday came and went. I wandered back into Valente on Friday. Veronica was there (we were on first name terms by now).
“Do you have the quote?”
“Not yet. Monday.”
I raised my eyebrows. They must have been noticeable above my mask, but she didn’t flinch.
Monday then.
But again, Monday came and went and… nada… nothing…
I decided that there was no point going to see Veronica again. So I drove to Olhao instead to see Vitor.
“Do you have the quote, David?”
“No…”
“I phone her!”
I like Vitor – he’s very proactive!
He phoned and yes! We would have the quote today!
I went home, did some other stuff and waited to hear.
At about 6:30pm, my phone went. It was Vitor. It wasn’t good news, as Vitor said:
“It’s not good news. €2000 for the doorframes.”
WTF?
My mate had paid a couple of hundred Euros for 3 sets! I only wanted 6!
Had something been lost in translation? I really had no idea, but I had no intention of paying that.
We ended the call, and all I could think was: Mmmm….
I called my mate. When I told him the price, I could hear him spluttering at the other end of the line. I think he was having a beer and had been caught unawares.
“WTF?” he eventually said.
Great minds….
“Any ideas?”
“Yes, try ETS. There is a carpenter next door. The main man at ETS speaks very good English and will take you round.”
So first thing the next morning (once the kitchen guys had arrived to sort a couple of problems with my kitchen in Fuseta – yes, it’s all happening) I headed for ETS.
Last time I’d been there, I’d had to wait in a queue outside. Today I was allowed in. The guy I wanted was serving another customer, but when he finished, fortunately it was my turn, so I explained what I wanted.
“Sorry, but we no longer deal with the carpenter next door…”
Once again, my head sagged. How hard could it be to bloody sort these doorframes!
“But the boss there speaks a little English. Just go inside and he will help.”
So I went and he did – to some extent.
He was a lovely guy. He took the time to discuss my requirements, he phoned to get prices, and then he came up with an excellent price – €425 + IVA (VAT).
Blimey! Things were looking up!
“Is that made up? Fabricated?”
“No, just materials. You want fabricated?”
“I think so.” I really wish I knew more about what I was doing…
He shrugged his shoulders.
“Sorry, we’re too…”
He couldn’t think of the word.
“Busy?”
“Yes, busy.”
Bollocks!!!! So close and yet so far.
I thanked him and left, wracking my brains for a solution. At least I knew I could get the materials. Maybe I should get Vitor to talk to the guy just to confirm what I was after?
That was a plan. Not much of one, but a plan.
I called Vitor. He was out buying yet more gypsum. Vitor loves his gypsum, and I have to say, he knows how to use it too.
Anyway, he told me that he would be at the house at 2pm. So at 2pm, we met up.
I explained to him that I’d found somewhere to buy the materials, but that I needed him to speak Portuguese to ensure that I’d be buying the right thing.
He was like a rat up a drainpipe!
“Let’s go!”
And so we went.
I was worried that the place might be shut – the Portuguese like their lunches. But it was open.
Then we realised that neither of us, in our haste, had remembered our masks.
Nothing is ever easy is it?
We loitered around outside, and then one of the carpenters came out and explained that the ‘Patron’ wasn’t there.
Shit…
Vitor and I looked at each other. What was the next move?
And then, as if by magic…
No, it wasn’t the patron, it was a Serviplaca van! It was Vitor’s Ukrainian mate, the one who had been too busy when we started this whole process.
He stopped his van, got out, shook Vitor’s hand and shook mine.
Vitor started talking. The other man was shaking his head. The conversation ebbed back and forth – was it Moldovan? Ukrainian? No, it was Russian apparently.
As I keep saying, life is full of surprises here.
Eventually the Ukrainian guy shook Vitor’s hand, turned, shook mine and left.
Vitor turned to me with a big smile.
“He is coming to the house tonight! He will do work for €500!”
I really don’t care anymore. I’m just happy that Vitor is happy and that it looks like things are moving forward.
I smiled back at Vitor and thanked him.
“Will he turn up?” I asked rhetorically. “We’ll see…” I answered.
We both laughed.
We’ve been here before, but hopefully, this time…
I’ll find out tomorrow.