A Photo of Olhao Street Art - purple, red, yellow, pink green and black shapes

Internet and TV

So life’s getting serious now.

I’m sorting out my priorities – and today I’ve decided to get Broadband and TV… Woohoo!

With all the red tape I’ve been warned about, I’ve been dreading this. Everyone says that whatever you try to get done in Portugal, be prepared to wait.

So I go to the NOS shop in Olhao.

I know – everyone hates NOS, but they’re the only cable providers on my street…

I’m prepared for the wait, but when I get there, the place is empty – there’s no queue. The guy behind the counter calls me forward. As an added bonus, he speaks good English.

I ask him what deals are available. He tells me. I agree a deal, I agree a price…

…and Bob’s your uncle – it’s full steam ahead! It couldn’t have been simpler, despite what everyone has been saying.

I provide my NIF, my bank details, my passport and my proof of residency (yes, I’m learning that in Portugal you need to carry these around with you all the time if you want to get anything done).

And that’s it: all done in 10 minutes.

In no time at all I’ve signed up for a TV and Internet deal.

Bollocks to all those people who told me it would take half a day! Un-bloody-believable… I’m well impressed!

Next problem though: when can they install?

I ask.

‘Here we go,’ I think, and then the man behind the desk says to me:

‘9am tomorrow?’

Blimey, it’s going like a bloody dream!

‘Yes please!’ I say.

I’m dubious obviously, but I agree the time, leave the store and set off on the 7 mile walk back home to Fuseta. You’ll find that I like a walk.

Before I’ve gone very far, I receive a phone call confirming the appointment for the next morning. This is beyond my wildest expectations!

But I’m still dubious, obviously…

Anyway, so now it’s morning (I made it home).

It’s 8:55am and I’m ready and waiting. The engineer is due at 9am.

The phone rings.

‘Here we go,’ I think, but at least they’re calling to let me know they won’t be coming,..

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes,” the man on the end of the phone says in English, with a Portuguese accent.

Oh yes! Who was I to doubt them? 25 minutes late, but who cares about that?

I sit down and wait. I ponder for a while and I feel guilty about my lack of Portuguese (which is a story for another day) and about my doubts. All I can say to compensate is that the service to date has been beyond reproach.

And indeed: 30 minutes later? The engineer only goes and turns up!

‘Bloody brilliant!’ I think.

And now he’s here? Blimey! He only goes and cracks on! What a great lad!

In no time at all, I have Internet and TV, as well as peace of mind.

Everyone tells me that customer service and time-keeping are not strong points of the Portuguese… well, I have to say, I’ve been well impressed today!

If all my other requirements are dealt with so efficiently, I’ll be a happy man.

We’ll see…

“Blinking Flamingos! The musings of a middle-aged bloke living in the Eastern Algarve: one who has no idea what he’s doing…”