I’m renovating a house in Fuseta.
Well, not me exactly. My DIY skills are virtually non-existent! I’m being advised by a good friend and getting people in to do the work… well trying anyway.
And that’s the problem.
I have loads to do, but initially, all I want is to have a new water heater, to swap out a couple of Air Con Units and to replace a shower tray.
So I need a plumber and an electrician.
Easy you’d think – and then you try to find someone…
You look at Expat sites, you talk to local people, you talk to friends, you call random numbers that you’ve seen online.
Nothing.
Building work is going on everywhere, both commercial and residential, so everyone is busy.
If you do find someone, say an electrician, then that’s great, until you realise that all they will do is run the wires. They won’t dig out the runs, or remove the rubble… you need to find someone else to do that.
And if you do find someone to do that it’s highly unlikely that they will be available at the same time as the electrician.
So really, you need a builder who can bring all of these people together – someone who has a team.
So you look for a builder.
Everyone recommended is busy. it will be four months, it will be next year.
So you end up simply walking round the local area and talking to builders directly. You have no idea if they’re any good, but fingers crossed eh?
I’ve been watching the builders opposite. Every day they turn up on time. The owner of the business turns up every day to check on the work. The work that I can see on the outside of the building looks good. This is probably as good as it’s going to get!
So last week, I wandered over and had a chat – which is where the real problems began,
My Portuguese is non-existent. A disgrace I know, and something I intend to remedy, but that’s of little use right now.
Fortunately, one of his team can speak some English and we agree to meet at 3pm.
I wander home and write out all of my requirements, and then turn to the Expats God – Google Translate!
Google Translate is a bloody brilliant bit of technology! I can translate anything from one language to another, I can take photos of the written word and it will translate it for me. It might be Brazilian Portuguese as opposed to Algarvian Portuguese, but it will do for now.
So I translate everything that I want done.
At 3pm, the builder turns up – Carlos.
Within 30 seconds, we both realise that we are getting nowhere, so he shouts across the road for the guy who can speak some English. He takes his time, but eventually he arrives.
And so we start.
We go through the list.
He asks questions. The questions are translated. I respond. My answers are translated.
It’s like bloody Chinese whispers! I have no idea if I’m getting the message across!
Anyway, we eventually get through the list – well the first list, not the complete list. Just a list of what I need done now.
As he leaves, I think that he says that he will come back with an electrician later. Or maybe tomorrow – who knows?
Trying to pin these guys down is like trying to catch a greased pig!
To be fair, he turned up later that evening with the electrician.
But now, all of a sudden the job has grown. The current cabling is wrong, new cables will need to be run, the tiles on the wall will be broken when digging the run, so the walls will need to be made good…
My little jobs have turned into a major construction job!
Do the regulations say that my cabling is wrong? Can I trust the builder and the electrician?
Again, who knows?
But to be fair, the builder then provided me with a quote the next day (albeit quite a bit larger than I was expecting), and has answered all of my questions in a timely fashion. That’s a good start at least!
Tomorrow I have an electrician coming in – I need someone to verify the requirement.
His name is Rui. He doesn’t speak English. Here we go again…
Wish me luck…
“Blinking Flamingos! The musings of a middle-aged bloke living in the Eastern Algarve: one who has no idea what he’s doing…: