It’s June, and I’m flying back to the UK for the first time in a couple of months.
It will be great to see Sue and the kids.
I make it to the airport with the help of my friend Lucas, get out of the car and stare. It’s 7:30 am and the place is heaving.
Last time I went back to the UK, it was nothing like this!
People are piling out of taxis, out of minibuses, out of cars. They’re pulling suitcases, wearing summer clothes, shorts, skirts, vests, T-shirts…
I’m in my jeans and jacket – don’t they know it’s raining in the UK?!
My heart sinks as I wander into the terminal. The crowds are even greater inside, especially the one to security.
I go for it. I queue… and queue… and queue…
Eventually, I get to the barrier. The guard scans my boarding pass.
“Nao! Fast Track by stairs!”
Fast Track? I didn’t order that! I have Easyjet Plus membership to make things easier, but I didn’t know it included Fast Track security.
In all the times I’ve gone between the UK and Portugal, I’ve never used Fast Track, and no one has ever told me that I should!
He points back to where I’ve just come from…
I turn and all I can see is a mass of humanity heading towards me…
“Bollocks!” I mutter, as I turn and struggle against the tide.
As I push through, there’s a lot more muttering – from all sides! People don’t want to get out of the way, people don’t want to let me through. I don’t blame them really. I wouldn’t want to either!
Eventually, I make it to the Fast Track lane. It’s empty. The lady Security guard there smiles and scans my boarding pass. I’m waiting to be told that I can’t go through Fast Track… that would have really pissed me off!
But no!
Everything is fine!
She even gets the trays for me to put my things in!
I take off my shoes, belt and jacket. I put my laptop in a separate tray. I walk through the Security gate, without setting off the alarm – I think that’s a first too!
I’m through and ready to move on in less than a couple of minutes! I like this!
I stop to buy myself a couple of bottles of water (only €1 If you use the first machine available, €2 at the other machines!) and wander down to passport control. It’s completely empty. Where have all the people gone?
I zip straight through and into the waiting area. It’s empty too!
Maybe no one else is going to the UK today…
This is bliss! I get my laptop out and start writing some more of my blinking ‘bollocks’…
PS I tried Fast Track again on the way back. It worked! Yahoo! No more queuing! Easyjet Plus is worth every penny!
“Blinking Flamingos! The musings of a middle-aged bloke living in the Eastern Algarve: one who has no idea what he’s doing…”